Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Journey of Faith Part 1

Standing at the bottom of the tall tower I found myself looking up the ladder debating whether or not this "fun thing" was a good idea. Through the gentle prods of my sweet friend behind me I hesitantly agreed to ascend the tower despite my better judgement. By the time I reached the platform above, I knew, by my pounding heart, that I had made a mistake in agreeing to do this. One of the rules was that if you ascended the ladder you had to jump! I moved closer to the edge and peered down to the dark waters below. I was encouraged that there were no rocks or things below that could break my bones. "Just do a pencil dive so the water doesn't hurt" they said. "It's easy," I could hear several others saying. Then, the next course of action had to feet needed to step off the solid platform in order for me to "jump." I couldn't do it! I tried and tried to talk myself into just stepping off, closing my eyes, and hoping I didn't splat face first to the cold water beneath. After what seemed like forever, I felt a hand on my back and a firm push sent me over the edge. I didn't have time to think, but I tried to get my flailing body into a pencil position to avoid the hard smack of water.

After popping up from my not so gracious descent, everyone cheered and said, "Do it again!" Not on your life was my initial inner response. Why would I choose to do that again? There was no fun in it. The only good thing about it was that I could later say I had done it!😀😀

Lately, the Lord has been teaching me much about FAITH. I've grown up hearing about faith. But, never did I truly understand what faith was 'til Jesus called for me to do some seemingly impossible steps for Him. I was working through some studying and remembered the silly story above. For me, faith in that moment wasn't my determining whether to jump from that solid footing of the platform. It started when I put my foot on the first wrung of the ladder. I had faith that the wrung would hold me and be the first thing to help me ascend to the next step eventually leading me to sure footing on the platform above.

Several months ago, while my husband and I were talking and praying the Lord made it clear that He wanted us to step onto a wrung that we were scared to death to step onto. Humanely speaking it appeared very un-sturdy and did not make much sense. I remember thinking there was no way little 'ole me could survive this step. But, I was lovingly reminded through His Word that He was right there alongside me reaching His arms out to carry me through the unknowns. For weeks I prayed hard for Jesus to prepare me for what was ahead. I honestly felt like each day He was preparing me just a little at a time. I knew there was no way I could do it alone, and Jesus became ever dear to me as I sought His help for gracious responses and a willing heart in difficult situations.

Resigning day came, and to be completely transparent, the floodgates of faith building began almost immediately. There were so many questions, so many emotions, so many unknowns. And, lil 'ole me, I had to...

simply trust

I had to trust that He would sell our home, provide a job, orchestrate a move, take care of dear ones we were leaving behind, work out schooling, provide income, untangle insurance and so much more. 

I had to trust "one wrung" at a time. I honestly can say Jesus has taught me much through every single wrung of this journey. Now, hear me out, I haven't always responded right in every single section. It has gotten hard in many ways, but He always reels me back in reminding me that He has me and He alone knows the future. I can trust Him in that!

"Trust is the bridge from yesterday to tomorrow, built with planks of thanks!" -Ann Voskamp

I am thankful! I am thankful that in the quiet moments of His Word He reassures me that He is in control even when the moments are tumultuous and hard. It is in the quiet moments that he silences the pressures of this world and the hurts found within in order for my heart to be at peace that this journey of faith is prepared just for me!

This "jump" of faith from a sturdy platform hasn't had easy wrungs, but I wouldn't trade one of them for what Jesus has taught me and for what He has become for me though each one!

Looking forward to sharing some specific details of parts of our journey soon!

Faith thanks God in the middle of the story!